48 pills in 2 days

I drove to the gas station, saw his car and saw Kemmon slumped over the steering wheel at the gas pump. I was furious. I ran up to the car and started to bang on the window like a crazy person. He FINALLY woke up. He didn’t even know what was going on. I made him get out of the car, and I took the keys and parked the brand new RENTED 2014 Dodge Charger in a spot at the gas station. I told him to get in my car because we were going home. He said he wasn’t getting in the car until he got a Snickers from inside so we both went in. He was slurring his words, he didn’t make sense, and he was yelling at me for yelling at him because I was being a “psycho”. He always said mean shit to me. It really fucked with me because I believed I was crazy too. 

Anyway, he got in the car, and we made it home. We sat on the porch, and I watched him try to eat his Snickers bar. He dropped it in the mulch, the caramel was all over his face, and he could hardly sit up. I didn’t want the neighbors to see so I told him to go inside. I asked him to lay down and take a nap, but he was hungry and wanted to eat burritos. So I made him burritos. 

“i asked if they knew what this might be and one of them said “this is indicative of an overdose” and left.  ”

He couldn’t even get the fork to his mouth and when he did he wouldn’t chew so there was just this nasty, half-chewed grossness coming out of his mouth. He also stopped breathing for a while and would then take these wacky breaths. I didn’t know what to do so I called 9-1-1. They showed up, tried to take a couple of tests, and he started to yell at the paramedics. I told him that I asked them to come and he told them I was crazy and he was fine. I was crying in the corner (literally) because I was so embarrassed by how Kemmon was acting, and I knew something was wrong. I asked them if they could help me because I knew something was wrong. They told me they couldn’t do anything because he refused care. I asked if they knew what this might be. One of them said, “This is indicative of an overdose.” Then they left.  

FUCK this. I had a weekend off, and I didn’t want to waste it on the BS. I called his sister (K) and said, “Come get your brother because I’m leaving.” She said she was on her way and I went upstairs and started to pack my bag for Ohio. The hour it took K to get to our house was the longest hour ever. She got there and started talking to Kemmon outside. I was finishing up packing when K yelled up to me to ask where his prescriptions were. I told her they were in his car and kept packing. A short while later, she asked me to come downstairs. 

Well, she figured out that he had taken 48 pills in two days. She had also convinced him to lay down and take a nap. While he was sleeping, K and I chatted about whether to let him sleep it off or take him to the hospital. We decided that the emergency room was probably our best bet. We tricked him into getting into the car by saying we were just taking a ride. He was “asleep” the whole way to the hospital so we didn’t have to do much convincing. When I pulled up, I thought it would be best to drop him off with his sister outside of the Emergency Room door, and I would park the car. When I got up to the front doors of the ER, Kemmon was pissed. He didn’t want to be there, he was arguing with his sister and then me. By this time, the police came out from inside the hospital. The officers told him that he could be a grown-up and walk in by himself or they would take him in with handcuffs. 

“while walking into the ER he told me how much I fucked up his life and he couldn’t believe I would do this to him. ”

While walking into the ER he told me how much I fucked up his life, and he couldn’t believe I would do this to him. Anyway, we checked-in and were soon taken back to a room. Long story short, he was overdosing, so they admitted him to the ICU. While being wheeled up to the room, we were greeted by the same sweet nurse that we had a few weeks earlier. She just gave me this look like, “You poor girl. What is he doing to you?” Because of the number of pills he took, they were basically considering this a suicide attempt. K stayed with me until late that night, and then went home and said she’d be back the next day. I was so glad she came down. It was just too much to deal with him by myself. 

The crisis counselor came in that next day. She cleared him and we went home that night. On our way to our car, Kemmon told me that he thought he might have a drug problem. He said he was scared and didn’t know what to do. The crisis counselor gave us the names of some local “rehabs”, and I started calling that the next day. 

7 years later…

Oh my gosh. This one is hard for a couple of reasons. When the paramedics came to check on him he was literally yelling at me in front of these 3 men. I vividly remember standing in the corner of our dining room and crying and sinking down to the floor. I was embarrassed. I was scared. I didn’t know what to do. I actually took videos of Kemmon while he was eating his burritos. I actually took a lot of videos during this time. My thought was I’d show him when he wasn’t so tired how wild he’s acting so he would realize I’m not crazy. I remember when I called 9-1-1 I was standing at the front door waiting for the paramedics to come saying, “Please don’t let this be happening again.”

Another vivid memory was walking up to him and his sister outside of the ER. I could see him yelling at her, and I knew my turn was next. I can see his face right before we walked in when he said I was ruining his life. It was so painful. The funny thing is he doesn't remember any of this. He doesn’t remember many of these stories. As family members, we are most often sober when these terrible things are happening. These are memories we will be haunted by for a long time. The addicted loved one often does not remember all of the terrible things that happened. Kinda seems unfair. If you’re reading this, I hope nothing like any of my stories has happened to you, but if they have, I get it. I see you. I wish you hope and healing for brighter days ahead.

If this is the first time you’re reading anything about addiction, welcome. You’ve found a place where someone can relate to what you’re going through. Please check out Boy Problems Podcast to hear Jessica + Shannon and I tell our stories. And whatever you do, keep coming back.

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