the start of my fairytale
“a burden shared is a burden halved.”
OK I’m not sure where to start, but here I go. My name is Katie and my husband is a heroin addict. PHEW that feels good. I’ve been with my husband for nine years now and just six months ago I found out that he was an addict. “What?!”, you say, “how could you be with your husband and not know he is an addict?”. Well I just fucking didn’t.
I am having a terrible time telling people about this because of all of the shame, embarrassment and terrible stigma that comes along with addiction. So this blog is to tell my story and maybe help someone along the way. This blog is also to document all of the BS he put me through that I just didn’t see in hopes that if it starts happening again I can see the signs and do something about it. I also want to let go of all of this pain I feel. It is killing me from the inside and I am only as sick as my secrets. Please keep an open mind as you continue reading. I want this to be my space where I can let all of my feelings truly come out and not be afraid of what people might say or how they may react to me or my husband. Enjoy!
here we go…
August 2009 I was a freshman in college and was ready to take on the world. I got into the college I wanted and was just ready to experience everything that college had to offer me; however, the universe had a different plan for me. The Wednesday of my second week of school my mom was killed. There I was, an hour and a half away from home, I had no friends at school and I had a 14 year old sister and a 16 year old brother at home. Now, that is a whole other blog but it does play a role in meeting my husband.
I took a week and a half school and then got back to work. The day I got back my RA stopped by my room and told me that her dad passed away a few years ago so if I ever wanted to talk, her door was always open. Because no one in my life could relate to all of the pain and sadness that I was going through, I became friends with my RA. It also didn’t hurt that I liked to party and since I was friends with the RA I was able to keep booze in my room and she didn’t seem to mind much. Ha ha… score!
Anyway, my RA had an older brother and since he had already graduated college he would stop by every so often and take her out to lunch or just hang out in her room. OMG he was SO cute and he was older, had blue eyes, blonde hair and was just so sweet. Long story short… that guy is now my husband, Kemmon.
We dated all through college and never really got into any huge fights or cheated or even took “breaks”. He was amazing, we would talk every night, he would come up every weekend and we would go to the bars and have parties at my house and it was just AMAZING. I knew he liked to party from day one, but hell we were 20 years old and that is what you are supposed to do in college. I didn’t think anything of it. It wasn’t like he was fucked up all the time. The only “drugs” I knew he did was pot and alcohol. I enjoy smoking weed too so I didn’t care about that at all. Anyway, the next 6 years were wonderful. I graduated, got a job in the profession I wanted and we moved in with each other. It wasn’t until August 2013 when things really started feeling terrible.
7 Years Later…
Wow, I started this blog 7 years ago and once I wrote it I never looked at it again. I am now comfortable to tell anyone and everyone about my journey through addiction and recovery with my husband. It’s almost hard to remember what it felt like to be afraid to tell people Kemmon was an addict. My language has even changed considerably as I now know this is a disease and he suffers from opioid substance use disorder. I’m excited and nervous to start releasing these blogs for everyone to read. I hope my story can help you navigate yours.
If this is the first time you’re reading anything about addiction, welcome. You’ve found a place where someone can relate to what you’re going through. Please check out Boy Problems Podcast to hear Jessica + Shannon and I tell our stories. And whatever you do, keep coming back.
“life is slippery. here, take my hand.”
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