Rehab

It’s all a little blurry now but the next week or so was just terrible. I kept his Suboxen in the safe and would wake up at 6am each morning to give him his dose. He wasn’t really going to meetings and was just a big grump. After he was on Suboxen for a week or so, I made another appointment for the recovery center. We were there for THREE hours…it was terrible. At one point the assessment counselor told us that because Kemmon was on Suboxen he couldn’t go into to treatment. Mind you, they were the ones that told us he had to detox so I could hardly believe they were about to ask us to leave. Thankfully they let him in a program. They again recommended Kemmon to go into residential treatment or their full-day treatment program, but he refused and he went into Intensive Outpatient (IOP). 

IOP is a six-week class, three nights a week for three hours each time. Two of the nights are group discussions with the group members and a facilitator. The third night is “family night”. Family night is a one hour lecture about different aspects of addiction and then the family is invited to attend the patient’s discussion group. The family nights were SO beneficial for me. I was the crazy bitch wife who didn’t care what I said in the meetings because I was so pissed at the whole situation. But who cares, I have every right to be mad. I learned a lot from the guys in the group and there are a couple of guys who we are now becoming friends with which is so nice. 

“While those family support groups were so helpful, I truly think the education I did on my own and that was provided to me helped me immensely.”

While Kemmon was in IOP, I started attending a family session at the recovery center. I am pretty sure it is one of the only things that has kept me sane through this whole thing. As I’ve started to branch out during this recovery process I realize that not many people have the opportunity to join groups like this. It is a two-hour meeting every week where cross talk is allowed. (Cross talk is when people can share something and then other people in the group can give feedback. Typically in Nar-anon or Al-anon meetings you can’t do that.) We also have an amazing family counselor that attends all of the meetings and helps guide us through some of the worst times. Only family members are allowed. We talk, ask questions, cry together, and provide the necessary support everyone needs when they have a loved one suffering from the disease of addiction. I just can’t say enough good things about this meeting. I am still going now, and I can just see how much I have grown in the few short months I have been going. The other day I had one woman tell me she was so thankful that I was in the group because I have helped her so much. What an amazing feeling. 

“I know sober Kemmon would never take our kids to a drug house, but I also know using Kemmon probably would. ”

I have been to Nar-anon a few times. If you do not have a family support group in your area I would strongly suggest going to Nar-anon / Al-anon. No cross talk is allowed, but these groups are also very helpful. 

The six weeks seemed to fly by. I mean I JUST found out that my husband whom I had been with for NINE YEARS was a drug addict. Not only a drug addict, but a heroin addict that had been stealing from me for years. Now Kemmon wasn’t using heavily for all of those years….pretty much the last three… he says. I was in a fog. I was so happy that he was clean but now what do I do with my life? I guess just take it one day at a time?

7 years later…

We recently released individual interviews of each of us on our podcast. In this episode, I spoke about Kemmon getting into treatment and a flood of emotions came back. I remember being so nervous he wasn’t going to walk into the building. Okay now that we’re in the building is he going to actually agree to get help? I can’t tell you how scared I was when the intake person told us he wasn’t sure if he could accept Kemmon into the program. After all that mess got sorted out, I was ticked that Kemmon refused to do what they recommended he do which was an inpatient program. He was determined to not have his work find out so he could easily swing a 6pm to 9pm program without his work finding out which they did not. 

The addiction doctor that Kemmon went to to get the Suboxen prescription was fantastic. While I couldn’t attend the first meeting he had with her, I was able to attend the next. She spent two hours with me explaining everything and answering all my questions. I remember telling her I was really shocked by this whole thing and that he couldn’t have been doing many drugs. She looked me dead in the eye and told me Kemmon was one of the worst drug users she’s seen. I remember being in absolute disbelief. 

While those family support groups were so helpful, I truly think the education I did on my own and that was provided to me helped me immensely. So often I hear people saying they don’t understand why their loved one keeps choosing drugs over their sober life. For me, realizing that when someone is in active use can’t really choose was eye opening. Addiction is a disease. For Kemmon to keep his addiction at bay, his medicine is three meetings a week and connecting to a recovery community. If he doesn’t ‘take his medicine’ his disease can flare up. I know sober Kemmon would never take our kids to a drug house, but I also know using Kemmon probably would.

If this is the first time you’re reading anything about addiction, welcome. You’ve found a place where someone can relate to what you’re going through. Please check out Boy Problems Podcast to hear Jessica + Shannon and I tell our stories. And whatever you do, keep coming back.

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